Resources

1. Embrace all of your feelings and emotions. You’re entitled to whatever feelings come up. You may experience intense anger, guilt, denial, sorrow and fear, all of which are normal for a bereaved parent.

2. Throw out the timetable. There is no timetable for grieving. Your journey is different, depending on personality and life circumstances.

3. Don’t worry about numbness. In this state, the world may seem like a dream or seem to go on without you. People and things that once brought happiness evoke nothing at all. This state could pass quickly or linger; it’s the body’s way of offering protection from overwhelming emotions. With time, feelings and connections will return.

4. Take time off from work… or not. Some people find the thought of returning to work unbearable while others prefer to throw themselves into the daily activity and challenges that work offers.

5. Turn to your faith if you can. If you find comfort in the beliefs, teachings and rituals of your faith, turn to them now to aid in your grief recovery. Know, too, that the loss of your child may damage your religious beliefs, and that’s ok. In time, you may find that you’re able to return to faith; either way, if you have been a person of faith, believe that God is big enough to handle your anger, rage and sorrow.

6. Delay decision making. Wait at least one year before making any major decisions. Don’t sell your house, change locations, divorce a partner or alter your life significantly. Wait until the fog has lifted, and you can clearly see the options available to you.

7. Trust in time. The phrase “Time heals all wounds” may sound like a meaningless cliche, but the truth is that you will recover from this loss in time. Initially, memories will hurt you to your core, even the good ones, but at some point that will begin to change, and you’ll come to cherish those memories. They’ll bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart. Grief is similar to a roller coaster or the ocean’s tide.