31 years ago today a self-described anti-feminist, walked into École Polytechnique in Montreal, separated the women from the men, and murdered 12 engineering students, a university clerk, and a student nurse.

These are their names:

You don’t need to know his name: he lives down the street.

He went to school with your kids and he smiles when he sees you.

He’s friends with your daughter and sometimes he hangs out with your son.

Everyday at work or school he’s polite and kind and later people will comment that no one saw it coming.

At night he goes online where he posts his hate and rage.

He wants to murder the women he works with. He wants to rape and beat your daughter to death. He calls your son names because your son is kind and represents everything about a man he hates.

Online he finds entire communities of men just like him. He finds encouragement and praise for his hate. In these places, men who’ve openly committed hate crimes against women just for being women are treated like heroes and worshipped.

Together these men, hundreds of them, make plans and pump each other up. They want another Montreal Massacre. They want another monster to punish the women they hate.

31 years later, how is it women are less safe?

We can ban the guns, outlaw the high capacity magazines, hold memorials, talk and educate, make demands, and be outraged as hell, but none of these things addresses the root issue.

Where does a man learn to hate women so much he wants to murder as many of them as he can with one monstrous act?

Where does a man get the idea that mass murder ending in his own death is an act of glory?