Four thousand five hundred and eighty-seven days since Rehtaeh’s death and she came back to me, again. The visits have become as rare as they are cherished, those moments when the world is okay and she didn’t die and everything is normal, whatever that is.

My phone buzzed last night. I was sitting out on the deck, staring over the water and talking to loved ones when it happened. Instantly my mind responded, “That must be Rae texting me she’s ok.” A second out of the 390,000,000 plus seconds without her.

I love the feeling it brought even if it was followed by grief and tears. I learned to embrace these moments and never push them down. It’s a hello from beyond, a memory from the past to let you know they were real. They mattered.

They were loved very much.

The world is sad enough, don’t give it everything.

If you need to talk please reach out.