Five years ago today I spoke to my daughter Rehtaeh for the last time.

I picked her up from an appointment on Quinpool Road in Halifax at 9 PM to drive her home.

Along the way we talked about God, the , Buddha, forgiveness, jobs, friends, her iPad, her boyfriend, her friends, therapy, university, love, her mom, and her little sisters.

You would never know what was about to happen. I never in my worst nightmare thought this was it.

She hugged me, told me she loved me, and I watched her walk into her mom’s house for the last time.

The next day I remember thinking I should call and I didn’t. And I hate myself for that.

If you need to talk to someone about mental health and suicide, please TALK.

II have a recording of that drive with Rehtaeh. It was recorded on my dash camera. It sits in a folder on a hard drive along with every memory of her.

I’ve never listened to it, and I doubt I can.